What should I bring when meeting Arab parents?

Something for the house. A box of sweets from a good bakery, flowers or chocolates. Never show up empty handed.

What will Arab parents ask me?

Expect questions about your family, where they're from, your work or studies, and your plans. They are trying to understand who you are, not to catch you out.

How do I refuse food politely?

You probably can't, at least the first time. Take a little of everything, eat slowly, and say how good it is. A full plate is easier to manage than an empty one that keeps getting refilled.

Meeting Arab parents for the first time

HeyArab, Editorial teamUpdated Oct 12, 20262 min read

A long dinner table full of small plates, a salad bowl, a stack of bread and a jug, with chairs around it

You're about to meet the family. Maybe you grew up in an Arab home and know the rules, or maybe your partner's family does things very differently from yours. Meeting Arab parents goes better when you know a few things before you walk in.

Don't arrive empty handed

Bring something for the house. A box of baklava or ka'ak from a good bakery is safe almost everywhere. Flowers or a box of chocolates work too. It doesn't need to be expensive. It shows you were raised to bring something.

Dress the way you would for a nice dinner, a little more covered than you might be with friends. If you're not sure, ask your partner. Some families are relaxed about it and some aren't.

Meeting Arab parents means questions about your family

Expect a lot of questions about your family. Where are your parents from? What do they do? Do you have siblings? Where did you study? It can feel like an interview, and in a way it is. But mostly they're trying to place you, the same way they'd place anyone new.

Answer honestly. If your family is from a different country, or you're not Arab at all, that's fine to say. If you know a few words of Arabic, use them. Even a "sahtein" after the meal goes a long way.

The food will keep coming

You will be offered food, then more food, then you'll be told you barely ate. This is love, and refusing it outright can land badly.

Take a little of everything. Eat slowly. Compliment the cook by name, especially if it's the mom or the grandmother. When you're done, leave a little on the plate, say "alhamdulillah" or "sahtein" if it fits, and accept the tea that comes after.

Learn who matters in the room

In a lot of Arab families the parents aren't the only people whose opinion counts. A grandmother, an older uncle or a sister may matter just as much. Greet the oldest person first. Stand up when someone older comes in.

Ask your partner beforehand who you should pay attention to, and what not to bring up. Politics is often on that list.

Before you get there

The first meeting goes smoother when you and your partner already agree on what you want. On HeyArab, profiles show what each person is looking for and how involved their family is. If you're already past that point, our guide on how to tell your Arab parents you're dating covers the conversation that comes before this one.