Dating an Algerian man or woman, what to actually expect

Dating an Algerian starts with who they are

Algeria is Arab and Amazigh at once. Plenty of Algerians are Kabyle, Chaoui or Mozabite, some speak Tamazight at home, and many families are a mix of everything. For some people that's a detail. For others, being called Arab when they're Kabyle is like being called the wrong name.

The easy fix is to ask. "Is your family Arab, Kabyle, both?" is a normal question, and the answer will tell you a lot about their grandparents, their village and how they see themselves.

A few words of Darja

Algerian Darja moves fast and borrows a lot of French. A few words will make an Algerian man or woman laugh, in a good way:

• Wesh: hey, what's up. Works for almost anything.
• Saha: thanks, or well done. Also said after someone finishes eating.
• Sahbi: my friend. Expect to be called it.
• Bezaf: a lot. As in, "you talk bezaf".

Texts will switch between French, Arabic and English without warning. Go with it.

Football is not a small thing

If Algeria is playing, plan around it. The national team, the Fennecs, is a big part of how a lot of Algerians abroad stay connected to home. Don't plan a first date during a big match.

You don't have to love football. But knowing who Riyad Mahrez is, and why the 2019 Africa Cup of Nations still comes up, will earn you points.

Family, the visit and the khotba

Algerian mothers often want to know about your family before they want to know about you. Where your people are from, who they are and how they live. That's how families size up a future, so don't take it personally.

When a couple decides to marry, the families usually meet for the khotba, the formal request. One family visits the other with trays of sweets, everyone dresses up, and a lot of the conversation is the parents getting to know each other. Before that, there may be a quieter first visit where your partner brings you home just to be seen. Ask which one you're walking into.

Meet an Algerian on HeyArab

On HeyArab, people show their country of origin and can add Amazigh as their community, so an Algerian man or woman can show both sides. You also see which languages someone speaks, from Darja to Tamazight to French. Set your family involvement and what you're looking for, and block your phone contacts if your community is close. See Algerian singles in the US and Canada, or read about meeting Arab parents.