Dating an Iraqi man or woman, what to actually expect

Dating an Iraqi person means asking which community

Iraqis in the US and Canada include Shia and Sunni Arab families, Chaldean and Assyrian Christians, Kurds, Mandaeans and more. A Chaldean family in Michigan and a Shia family in Dearborn can have very different traditions, even though both are Iraqi.

Ask your partner how they describe their background. Some say Iraqi first, some say Chaldean or Assyrian first, some say both. That answer tells you a lot about church or mosque, language, and what the family expects.

Chai is constant

Iraqi tea comes in a small istikan glass, strong and sweet, and it keeps coming. Refusing a second glass is a negotiation. You'll probably also be offered kleicha, date filled cookies, and dolma made by someone who has been cooking it for forty years.

Masgouf, grilled fish, comes up a lot in conversations about home. So does how much better the bread was in Baghdad.

The family is big and close

Iraqi families tend to be large and involved. Cousins grow up together, aunts know everything, and family events are loud. If you're invited to one, say yes, eat, and expect a lot of questions.

Many Iraqi families came here after 1991 or after 2003, and some lived in Jordan, Syria or Turkey first. Some have family still in Iraq. Be patient if news from home is hard.

Music and Iraqi pride

Iraqis love their music. Kadim Al Sahir, old maqam recordings and Iraqi wedding songs come up quickly. Knowing even one will get a reaction.

There's also a lot of pride in Iraqi history and food, so ask questions. Most Iraqis are happy to explain.

Meet someone Iraqi

On HeyArab you can see someone's country of origin, their community (Arab, Chaldean, Assyrian or Kurdish), and how involved their family is before you match. See Iraqi singles in the US, or read how to tell your Arab parents you're dating.